Believing in the Person I Want to Become
“Let go like I removed it….. because I did” - God
Since I was a little girl, I’ve carried a quiet but powerful desire inside me - a desire to help people. I honestly don’t know where it came from. Maybe it was one of those mysterious gifts God gave me at birth, or maybe it’s the sum of my experiences that shaped this calling. Whatever its origin, that desire has been the guiding light of my journey.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had countless dreams and goals swirling in my mind. I’ve owned businesses and worked in many industries. Each and every one was a blessing. Each and every one gave me some sort of gift. Whether it was my parents becoming U.S. Citizens after 45 years or being able to live without worrying about finances. If I set my sights on something, I do whatever it takes to get it. When I decide, it’s game on - no days off, no “business hours”, no weekends. I wanted to become a doctor; within 18 months I completed three years’ worth of required classes. I’ve organized fundraisers, supported disaster relief, and served in ways that let me feel needed and truly make a difference. I don’t do it for the recognition - I do it because it fills me.
But life has steered me down unexpected paths. Every time I think I’ve found where I belong, God seems to have a different plan. I became a paramedic, and while that role has been deeply rewarding, I still find myself at crossroads, uncertain which path to take next.
In medicine, I want to be the best provider I can be - not because I want to play “God” or control life and death, but because I want to touch lives meaningfully. Lately, however, the opportunity to serve has been taken from me by difficulties in my profession. That loss plunged me into a dark place - feeling lost, confused, and unsure of my purpose.
I question where I belong in this vast world. I want so deeply to belong, but it often feels like I’m forcing a place for myself. I don’t always know who I’m supposed to be.
Still, despite the doubt, I’m holding on to one irrefutable truth: I believe in the person I want to become. Even without a job right now, I know my worth. I’ll admit I have a bit of a “dive” streak - I expect to be treated with respect and won’t settle for less. Perhaps it’s not the practical time for expectations, especially when I’m hurting for money or behind on bills, but I refuse to let go of my standards or my vision for myself.
I never imagined I’d come this far - with the education I’ve earned, the experience I’ve gained, and the knowledge I carry. That belief in my potential keeps me moving when the path seems unclear. It’s the spark of hope that motivates me to keep dreaming, striving, and stretching toward a place where I can truly make the difference I’ve always longed to make.
Maybe the journey won’t be a straight path. Maybe it will be full of twists, turns, and unexpected stops. But my faith in the future me - the woman who finds her purpose and shines in her own unique way - fuels me every day. Perhaps these trials are preparing me to help others who face work, family, or life struggles firsthand.
So here I stand: still uncertain, still searching, but with a heart full of hope and the belief that the best is yet to come.
If this resonates with you, share one step you’re taking today toward who you want to become - I’d love to hear your story.
xoxo,
-shiftmomunfiltered
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“Be still…..and know that it is me.” - God